I Dislike The Expression “Back-Bend” Have you ever been talking to someone before? (I know it’s considered poor form to start ANY document with a question, but I’m edgy like that.)
Have you ever been talking to someone before, and then part of the way through the conversation they say something? Not anything rude or offensive; it’s not really something bad, but it’s something that they say that causes that little voice in your head to go, “That was weird." You don’t say anything right away because you’re not quite sure how you felt about it, or if you should feel any sort of way at all. But later on, this thing that they said works its way into the deepest part (and I mean the deep, deep depths) of your mind; eventually, there’s something that clicks where you decide (almost involuntarily) that you aren’t going to talk to this particular person about this thing that they said. In fact! You decided that there are a lot of things that this person and you shouldn’t talk about. And it is in that moment that you close your heart to them. Maybe it’s not something that you wanted to do, but now that it’s done it takes soooooooo much effort to undo.
If you’re anything like me, you’ve spoken to more than a couple people in your life like this and you’ve decided that there are a few things you don’t start conversations with. For example, I listen to Smash Mouth and/or My Chemical Romance un-ironically, Sometimes I wear the same pair of underwear twice in a row, or I’m upset when I haven’t slept and I’m upset when I wake up. But those are simple and easy things to talk about. Other things I don’t like talking about? I have a hard time trusting people. I don’t really like change. And I like to remind myself that I am in control (but often tell people to let go of control…bad). I’ve closed my heart to many people and experiences before, and I likely will again.
And so, I practice yoga.
The truth is that I don’t have any control. The universe is in the driver’s seat and I am in the back trying to tell Her which lane to park in. I am sorely aware that She can take my vessel where she pleases, but I struggle because I want to believe that I have control of my fate.
The truth is, change will happen on a frightening level. We are always of the precipice of dynamic and elegant changes—movements that bring us closer to our destination and magic that encourage us to develop physically and personally and physically. We cannot stop the majesty of it. Change is a constant.
And I know I must trust people because we are here to see, and to love, and to teach, and to learn from one another. We must trust people, but that is scary because trusting people means to trust that element of change, change that is ultimately controlled and guided by the universe. We must trust people because trusting others means to trust and accept the experiences that the universe gives so that we can grow into our fullest potential.
Trusting means surrender.
I dislike the word expression “Back-Bend." It suggests that there is a pose that bends your back. It implies that we practice a series of postures that bend the body. And to some extent, that is true. We do move and bend, but by moving, we morph the spirit and the mind. Our postures are landmarks for the psychological and spiritual places we travel during our practice. And Heart Openers represent exactly what they are. Heart Openers are the fullest manifestation of surrender.
We don’t practice "back-bending", we practice surrender every time we open our heart. And through this practice, we learn to trust, completely.
So lets all practice opening our hearts together.
P.s. I know it’s considered poor form to end with that cheesy line, but I’m edgy like that.